College football’s coaching carousel has begun to spin, and USC, right now, is all anyone is talking about. Trojans AD Pat Haden, perhaps looking to make a move before Texas can find their coach to replace Mack Brown – no way he’s back … right? – has been rejected by Boise State’s Chris Petersen (again). This shouldn’t surprise anyone, except maybe delusional USC fans. If you’re keeping score at home, Petersen has said no to USC twice in the last four years, and he turned down UCLA, too.

Right now, all signs point to Washington’s Steve Sarkisian being the leader in this fluid situation. I’ve been on the Sark train since September, when I first heard his name pop up. USC fans on twitter told me no thanks, and after the Huskies went through a 3-game losing streak, Huskies fans ripped Sark as overrated. It’s strange – Huskies fans don’t seem enamored with Sarkisian, even though he’s turned an 0-11 team in 2008 around over the last five years, and gone to four bowl games (including this year). Sure, he’s only gone 5-4 over the last four years in conference play – in one could argue the 2nd best league in college football – but on offense, he’s improved the Huskies from 117th overall in 2008 to 8th this season.

ESPN reported that Sarkisian interviewed for the job; he told a radio station this morning he didn’t, but he ‘talked‘ to them. Ok!

There’s some debate over Vanderbilt’s James Franklin. ESPN seems to think he’s the frontrunner. Bruce Feldman of CBS Sports says that is interest is being overstated. (We can discuss whether or not anyone in the SEC would leave for the USC job another day. Other than Lane Kiffin, coaches rarely leave the SEC and take a job somewhere else in the country. And Urban Meyer took time off, so that doesn’t count.). While I like Franklin a lot, he’s building something impressive (and historic) at Vanderbilt. Would he leave that to go across the country?

There’s a report from Rumors & Rants that Kevin Sumlin wanted the job badly, but while USC did research and took its time, Sumlin decided to pull his name out of the search. He has agreed to a new 6-year deal with A&M, but let’s see how ironclad that is come January when the NFL comes calling. A Sumlin-Rex Ryan pairing has major potential somewhere, perhaps Houston.

Here’s the most interesting question: What happens if the Trojans sour on Sark, and don’t make an offer … or he turns them down? Then what? Do they circle back to Jack Del Rio? Or do they just say, ‘ok, Ed, the job is yours?’

Related: Ed Orgeron: USC Should Not Make Him First Choice, But He Could Be an Appealing Backup Plan
Related: Javorius Allen of USC Dropped the Ball Before Crossing Goal Line, TD Still Counted
Related: Steve Sarkisian’s New Assistants Could Propel Washington to Pac 12 Elite

Steve Sarkisian will be the new head football coach at USC according to a tweet from ESPN’s Joe Schad. Sarkisian had been an assistant at USC before taking over the head coaching position at Washington in 2009. He has a lifetime record of 34-29 including a 8-4 mark this year.

Earlier today our Jason McIntrye wrote that Sarkisian had emerged as the front-runner to replace Lane Kiffin, who was fired earlier this season after a 62-41 loss to Arizona State.

Related: USC Fan Wore a Full-Length Fur Pimp Coat For Colorado Game

Lane Kiffin’s Manhattan Beach house is up for sale, so if you are in the market for a $6.9 million dollar house look no further. This humble abode was built in 2002, has 6 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, and is 7,308 square feet of former Trojan head coach living space.

Situated at the end of a cul-de-sac, on a gated estate sized 19,246 s. f. this 6 bedroom, 7 bath home is reminiscent of the estates you see around Jackson Hole in its seclusion and grandeur and is certainly one of the most unique properties in Manhattan Beach. Built by Nick Schaar in 2002, this home has been lovingly updated and has a world class back yard that features a large salt water pool and spa, fire pit, guest house, outdoor kitchen, large gated dog run and grounds with mature landscaping. You are greeted at the doorway by soaring ceilings that continue through an enormous living room that is highlighted by a magnificent stone fireplace that climbs 20′ plus to the vaulted ceiling. Great country kitchen with state of the art commercial grade appliances, large center island with slab cutting board counter and spacious breakfast nook overlooking the yard. Perhaps the largest family room in Manhattan Beach becomes the perfect space for family entertainment. Huge Master Suite features large bedroom with sitting area, spacious master closet, gracious master bath with steam shower and secondary walk in closet currently functions as additional laundry area and was previously a spa room. Spacious three car garage that opens to an enormous gated driveway.

I’m doubtful that the Golden Tee arcade, seen in slide three, comes with the purchase.

You can see the full listing at Redfin.

Alshon Jeffery, the seventh wide receiver taken in the 2012 NFL draft, had a relatively quiet rookie year – 367 yards, three touchdowns – but he’s exploded this season as perhaps the best No. 2 receiver in the league. Playing second fiddle to Brandon Marshall, the 6-foot-3 Jeffery ranks in the Top 10 in the league in receptions (7th), yards (5th) and yards-per-catch (7th).

So this seems like an ideal time to remind unemployed football coach Lane Kiffin that no, Alshon Jeffery is not pumping gas. This is from an excellent story in 2009, when Kiffin was trying to recruit Jeffery to attend Tennessee:

Kiffin was equally dogged. But when it was obvious that Jeffery wasn’t going to Tennessee, Kiffin took off the gloves.

According to Jeffrey and Wilson, Kiffin told Jeffery that if he chose the Gamecocks, he would end up pumping gas for the rest of his life like all the other players from that state who had gone to South Carolina.

Jeffery was doing his best to stay awake at that point, but that comment from Kiffin woke him up. He clearly hasn’t forgotten it, either.

Jeffery picked South Carolina, and had a strong career with the Gamecocks.

Jeffery’s emergence in Chicago has made life easy for 34-year old backup QB Josh McCown, who has had no problems replacing injured Jay Cutler. McCown, a vagabond for 11 years in the league, is having his best season as a pro – 68 percent completions, 13 touchdowns, one interception – and the Bears are still in the playoff hunt in the NFC. The Bears have a surfeit of weapons – Forte, Marshall, Bennett, and now Jeffery – and nobody doubts that new coach Mark Trestman knows offense. The problem? The banged-up defense can’t stop anyone – guess they miss Lovie Smith – and that’ll probably be why Chicago isn’t in the postseason. Having lost the tiebreaker to Detroit, it needs to win the division outright.

Back to Jeffery, who did this last week vs. Minnesota:

And then topped it last night against Dallas:

Look away, Jets fans: New York traded up in the 2012 draft to take always-injured Stephen Hill … two spots ahead of Jeffery. Are we to assume Lane Kiffin spread the Alshon-is-fat rumors near the draft?

Related: NFL Combine: Alshon Jeffery Back in the First Round Mix Because He’s Not Fat

Everything came up Malzahn in 2013. The Auburn coach was so en fuego by season’s end, no one noticed his tutleneck, sweater-vest and visor ensemble. Boom!

The relationship between head coach and established senior quarterback is a special one. Nick Saban and A.J. McCarron shared a touching embrace following the Crimson Tide’s 38-17 win over LSU.

Here is Bob Stoops serving up some classic Bob Stoops face. We don’t remember which game this is from, but there are so many it would fit.

Texas kicked a field goal to bring the Baylor-Texas game to 3-3, giving Mack Brown a glimmer of hope in the de facto Big 12 title game. For a fleeting moment, redemption for the embattled coach looked like a real possibility. Enter Akina: Stage Right.

Will Muschamp watched his team crumble around him, losing multiple starters to injuries and dropping four one-score games. His record is now worse than Ron Zook’s after three years. This GIF sums up how 2013 went for all involved at Florida.

It never rains at Tiger Stadium. It never rains on Les Miles either, because he has a khaki-shorted manservant to carry his umbrella.

Lane Kiffin was pulled off the bus and fired following USC’s blowout loss at Arizona State. This face he made during the game suggests he may have had an inkling of what was coming.

Ohio State lost the Big Ten title game to Michigan State, the first loss of the Urban Meyer era. The defeat cost the Buckeyes a chance to play for a BCS title. Here is the precise moment that realization set in.

Mark Dantonio can be a bit somber, like a hooded figure calmly punting a raft on the River Styx. Here he is getting spooked by a faux mannequin and displaying some jarring humanity.

Coach O resurrected USC’s season, bringing the Trojans back with a shout in the Pac 12 title race. His chapter in USC history will be a short one, but the climax was definitely brandishing a sword and leading the marching band after the Stanford upset.

Georgia had Auburn pinned on 4th and 18. Then Nick Marshall hit Ricardo Lewis for a touchdown on a deflected Hail Mary. Stunned, heartbroken Georgia coaches hit the deck.

Bert taking a tumble? Bert taking a tumble.

Nick Saban and Lane Kiffin have more in common than an agent, it would appear. The former USC coach joined Alabama’s bowl preparation as a consultant/observer at Saban’s behest in December. Now, Kiffin has been hired as Alabama offensive coordinator, replacing Doug Nussmeier who left for Michigan. We now know what Paul Finebaum will be discussing for the next eight months.

Kiffin does have many strong points as a coordinator. USC went 23-3 with him running the offense under Pete Carroll. With Matt Leinart as a senior, the Trojans were nation’s most productive unit in 2005. Though, it’s not clear how to split the credit between Kiffin and then QB coach Steve Sarkisian. With him calling plays as head coach, USC had Top 10 yards/play offenses in 2011 and 2012. It’s possible the scholarship restrictions hampered his ability to experiment.

Not that Alabama needs much help in this area, but Kiffin has been a phenomenal recruiter. He reeled in three-straight No. 1 classes as recruiting coordinator for USC under Carroll. He was at or near the top of recruiting rankings every year as USC head coach.

Kiffin has also been maligned, often with good reason. His arrogance, petulance and immaturity were never whitewashed by success on the field. His brief Tennessee tenure was a blight. He deserves particular blame for the way things snowballed toward the end of his USC tenure. He mishandled the quarterback transition once Matt Barkley got hurt. Noteworthy: Alabama’s biggest question heading into 2014 is replacing a star senior quarterback.

Given his track record with assistant hires, Saban deserves the benefit of the doubt. Kiffin won’t be dealing with the media. He won’t be setting the internal tone. His job will be calling plays and grooming the next Alabama quarterback. That may better fit his skill-set as a coach. Wisdom may come with age and embarrassment. Kiffin, though it feels as though he has been around forever, is only 38.

It’s hard to top having a BCS Championship crumble on this play against your biggest rival, spending a week in limbo over Nick Saban taking the Texas job, getting pasted by Bob Stoops in the Sugar Bowl and hiring Lane Kiffin for an interesting six weeks to be an Alabama fan.

Setting the over/under for boilerplate Kiffin redemption column at Week 3.5.

Claire Sinclair … flying snakes … a new species discovered on the Gold Coast … elderly woman pulls gun on dude who shoveled her driveway … “Big Daddy V” has passed away at 43 … picture of Prince Harry with a dead water buffalo surfaces after the announcement of an anti-poaching campaign … an interview with the creator of the new David Walton sitcom, About a Boy … Facebook didn’t hire the WhatsApp guy in 2009 … 12 Years a Slave wasn’t easy to edit … yesterday Facebook bought WhatsApp for $19 billion … racist restaurant turned into popular gay bar on Yelp …  50% of our GDP comes from a handful of cities … the highest rent in the country is in Williston, ND … Pizza Hut worker caught urinating in sink … people love beer… Watch True Detective? Want to read The King in Yellow?

The backstory behind the Lane Kiffin – Nick Saban relationship. [Sports Illustrated]

The Cardinals pitchers are not great fielders at this point in time. [St. Louis Post Dispatch]

The Milwaukee Brewers have adopted a stray dog as an unofficial mascot. [Big League Stew]

There are a lot more white men than anything else in writing. [Poynter]

Scouts are comparing Russ Smith to Allen Iverson. [Courier-Journal]

The biggest uniform fails in sports history. [Extra Mustard]

Paralyzed athletes find new life in quad rugby. [HooplaHa]

The FBI is investigating after a noose and Confederate flag was found on a statue of Ole Miss’ first black student. [New York Times]

Brooks Laich talks about his relationship with Julianne Hough. He seems to appreciate how hard the paparazzi work. [CBS DC]

Gregory Porter, a former San Diego State football player, became a jazz singer after his football career ended. He won a Grammy this year.  [FOX Sports]

25-year old bro talks shit, gets one-punched by a middle aged guy at the beach.

Breathtaking drone footage from Slovenia following days of devastating ice storms.

The official Guardians of the Galaxy trailer.

Dear Canada, we like hockey too.

I know it’s The Onion and it’s a joke, but this pretty much sums it up. [via Big Buzz]

P cool Happy / Get Lucky mash-up.

Brian Williams (feat. Lester Holt) performs Rapper’s Delight.

Lane Kiffin, the former USC football coach, has finally sold his gorgeous Manhattan Beach palace. The buyer? Actor Vince Vaughn, according to the LA Times.

The updated 7,308-square-foot contemporary Craftsman-style home, built in 2002, appears to be another notch in Vaughn’s real estate belt. He bought a Colonial-style home in La Canada Flintridge last year for $3.9 million.

The Manhattan Beach house features vaulted ceilings, a stone fireplace, six bedrooms and seven bathrooms. The three-car garage opens to a gated driveway.

Kiffin, who is now the offensive coordinator for Nick Saban’s Crimson Tide, might be the first person ever to leave Manhattan Beach for Tuscaloosa, Alabama. No, really. That’s one of the craziest cross-country moves in the history of moving. The things people won’t do for a career. [H/T Bruce Feldman]

Related: Alshon Jeffery isn’t Pumping Gas, Someone Should Notify Lane Kiffin
Related: Lane Kiffin and Matt Leinart Met Up in Manhattan Beach
Related: Snoop Dogg’s Son on Lane Kiffin: ‘He should have been fired a while ago’

Kimberley Garner, model … “Rare gazelle breaks own neck, dies at Topeka Zoo” … cow kills German hiker … how can anyone endorse a tomato and mayo sandwich? … clown drops GPS, reaches for it, car crashes into telephone pole … armed militias are patrolling the Texas border … football legends — on You Tube … 21 great urban dictionary definitions … how technology can help you unplug on vacation! … women against feminism … Tim Howard will be a soccer analyst on NBC for the EPL … wild story about the sequel to The Passion of the Christ … the New York Times is a “terrible business” … mom arrested for letting her 7-year old walk to park alone … oral history of the night Lane Kiffin left Tennessee … that craft whiskey you’re drinking probably comes from Indiana …

Rafael van der Varrt, what a dog, leaving his wife when he found out she couldn’t have their second kid due to chemo. “… only four months after the split he had started dating Sabia – Sylvie’s former best friend and the ex-wife of his Hamburg team mate Khalid Boulahrouz.” [Daily Mail]

“A First-time Skydiving Experience, a Fall to Earth and a Terrible Accident.” You should read this. [SI]

Sports Illustrated writes cover story on Drew Brees, mentions “TRX” multiple times, photographs Brees in a “TRX” t-shirt on the cover … fails to mention that Brees is a “TRX” investor. [Jim Romenesko]

“A jury awarded former Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura $1.8 million on Tuesday in his lawsuit against the estate of “American Sniper” author Chris Kyle.” [Navy Times]

You knew this was coming: Kevin Durant totally hears all the Wizards fans talking about him going home two summers from now. He’s just got to do his best not to say the wrong thing. [Yahoo Sports]

The Dallas Cowboys just can’t stay healthy: Rookie DeMarcus Lawrence is out 8-12 weeks with a broken foot. [Dallas Morning News]

Great read on late-blooming Kyle Korver of the Hawks. Make sure you learn about the misogi, “the Japanese annual purification ritual some athletes have adapted into a once-a-year endurance challenge.” [Grantland]

Mark Sanchez appears on the cusp of a career rebound as Chip Kelly’s No. 2 QB. [NY Post]

“Who the fuck is Johnny Manziel?” Reed asked. “LeBron ain’t your guy! You’re not ‘Johnny Football.’ You’re ‘Johnny Rookie Bitch.’” [NY Magazine]

Columnist outraged over the Ray Rice decision says 2-game ban is “equivalent of not caring.” [Denver Post]

I’m shocked Bud Selig is in the midst of another disaster. [Hollywood Reporter]

” … if a minor leaguer brings a woman back to his room after his roommate has already gone to sleep, two things are understood. First, the roommate gets a free show, as long as he keeps pretending to be asleep. Second, if the pretend-sleeping roommate is so inclined, he may video the action, as long as he does it discreetly.” [Sports on Earth]

Anthony McCoy, the Seattle tight end who missed last season with an Achilles injury, hurt his other Achilles Tuesday. It appears his season is over. [Seattle Times]

Here’s bad video of Orlando Bloom throwing a punch at punk ass Justin Bieber. Turns out Bieber flirted with Bloom’s ex-wife a few years ago; Bloom was hanging out with Bieber’s ex-girlfriend earlier this year. Afterward, Bieber posted a photo on Instagram of Bloom’s ex-wife, then deleted it. [via Page 6]

DMX rides a roller coaster, curses a lot. Enjoyed this.

Scary: Two women, stuck on railroad tracks, try to outrun an oncoming train. They ended up OK – they lay down between the tracks to survive.

This is gross.

Every single Motherf*cker said in the movies by Samuel L. Jackson.

Florida State freshman football players, rapping. [via Hot Clicks]

The Lane Kiffin Era begins at Alabama tonight with the Crimson Tide playing West Virginia in Georgia. Kiffin arrived at the Georgia Dome this afternoon sporting aviators and a smile that says, “I could be at USC right now, but I’m not!” He is officially the Guy Patterson of the ‘Bama coaching staff. (Nick Saban is Jimmy and Kirby Smart is obviously Lenny.)

RELATED: Lane Kiffin Will Join Alabama As Offensive Coordinator

Update: Kiffin was all smiles after a 33-23 win over West Virginia in which the Crimson Tide had 538 yards of total offense.

College Football’s first weekend was not so eventful. But it almost was. Games that seemed like a fait accompli, after eight months of talking, proved not to be. World outlooks weren’t nuked. But, had a few plays gone differently, they could have been. It was a week of impressive showings and moral victories.

Oklahoma State crawled out of the shell craters and kept it within a touchdown against Florida State. The Cowboys picked off a Jameis Winston who looked mortal (when passing the ball) twice. Though unspectacular, OSU got enough going on offense and were efficient on third downs. This was not a timeless Seminole performance, but perhaps the game was more about Oklahoma State proving a point. Mike Gundy’s team lost a lot from 2013’s squad. But, after producing Top 15 teams on the regular for some time now, this staff should have received more benefit of the doubt. We had them just outside the Top 20 preseason. Had we trusted the numbers, we would have been more bullish.

Alabama labored against West Virginia. The natural inclination is to blame Lane Kiffin. He’s a natural heel and an inviting, poorly tailored target. However, getting 538 balanced total yards, 9/16 third down conversions and just one turnover with a new QB was not terrible at all. Alabama’s vaunted defense just got Holgorsen’d. The Tide struggled with tempo. A confused secondary got shredded. Had West Virginia executed the play calls better, the carnage could have been worse. It’s not clear whether the Mountaineers can recruit enough talent to compete weekly in the Big 12. But Dana Holgorsen can still orchestrate an offense with a healthy quarterback. Red Bull, demonstrably, gives you wings.

Pre-season hype kings UCLA escaped by their chinny-chin-chins against lowly Virginia, winning 28-20 on three defensive touchdowns. We predicted the Cavaliers would cover, with an unappreciated defense and the Bruins facing a noon ET kickoff after a cross-country flight. With any luck or some better offensive talent, UVA would have pulled off the outright upset. It’s not time to pump the breaks on UCLA. Some fine tuning and not fumbling the ball four times will ameliorate many issues. But those slotting the Bruins ahead of Oregon, Stanford and USC may want to apply some mild, steady pressure.

Wisconsin almost picked off LSU, but didn’t, conceding 21 unanswered points to lose 28-24. Considering the teams individually, that wouldn’t have been an “upset.” Though, it would have made a rare, strong opening statement for the oft-maligned Big Ten (Your move, Sparty). This was the Badgers’ 15th one-score loss since going down 21-19 to TCU in the Rose Bowl at the end of the 2010 season. Brutal. LSU, after a brief interlude, appears to be back to running the dang ball and bombing it down field with an erratic quarterback. Viva Les Miles!

The Good…

That Aggie Swag: A Texas A&M transition year seemed rational. Kevin Sumlin’s team appeared to have no such plans at the end of “talking season.” The A&M offense was not intimidated by Darude, racking up 52 points and 680 total yards and converting 14/19 third and fourth down conversions. Novice QB Kenny Football put up 44/60 for 511 yards and three touchdowns. This could just have been South Carolina stinking up the place. A&M still has a young team, a tough schedule and some serious defensive concerns. But, everyone in the SEC saw what they did there.

Those Georgia Running Backs: Todd Gurley and freshmen Nick Chubb and Sony Michel combined for 301 yards and four touchdowns (three in the 4th quarter) on 25 carries, against what should have been a solid Clemson defense. Gurley, among the Heisman favorites, threw in this for good measure. The Dawgs have some serious talent, not that we trust them to deploy it effectively week to week.

The Nussmeier Effect: It was only Appalachian State. But, Devin Gardner had one incompletion, two running backs went over 100 yards and Devin Funchess was not coverable. The Wolverines averaged 10.2 yards per play, which is what a competent offense should do against an FCS team. Strong debut from the guy who is not Al Borges.

A Win, Finally: The Bears won their first FBS game since beating Washington State in Oct. 2012, holding on 31-24 against Northwestern. Sonny Dykes’ Bear Raid has more than a few kinks to work out, but the revolution must start somewhere.

The Not So Good…

Anchored Down: One SEC team lost outside the conference last weekend: Vanderbilt. The Commodores were crushed 37-7 at home, by Temple. Temple. The delayed start was weird. Not sure there is that much to read into this besides “yeah, committing seven turnovers won’t work out well for you.” Still, not an auspicious start for the Derek Mason era.

Not So Proud: Iowa State took a 14-0 lead on FCS giants North Dakota State. The Cyclones then conceded 34 unanswered points to lose by 20. Early days, to be sure. Though Kansas may face a battle for the Big 12 cellar. Will the Big 12 consider the Bison when it inevitably expands back to 12 or beyond?

Hammering Away: Eastern Michigan escaped 31-28 against FCS Morgan State, who out played them. It was an impressive display of resilience to overcome their poorly thought out tunnel intro.

In a Losing Effort…

We’re admittedly borrowing this prize the fine gents at the Solid Verbal podcast. Washington State QB Conor Halliday completed 40/56 for 532 yards and five touchdowns, as the Cougars lost 41-38 to Rutgers.

GIF That Captured the Zeitgeist…

Wisconsin has a tubby Brazilian kicker, who gets a little funky after making field goals.

Sartorial Statement of the Week…

Alabama’s coaching staff went with the matching relaxed fit, cuffed and pleated khakis: a look that screams “I spend way too much time in a film room to be concerned about trivial shit.”

[Photos via Getty, USAT Sports]

Florida is up 14-7 after Keanu Neal brought a fumble back for a touchdown against Alabama. Florida has scored twice off two EARLY first quarter ‘Bama turnovers. There are still 9 minutes left in the first quarter and we’ve already had 3 touchdowns. First to 100 wins.

RELATED: Bama Bro Excitedly Shakes Blonde Bama Fan
RELATED: Lane Kiffin Dials Up 87-Yard Touchdown Pass From Blake Sims to Kenyan Drake on First Play Against Florida

Lane Kiffin is killing it at Alabama. Michael Wilbon does not like giving Lane Kiffin any credit. In fact, he hates the mere mention of the ‘Bama offensive coordinator’s name. If you’d like to hear Wilbon begrudgingly give Kiffin props, the entire PTI segment is below. Or you can look back at the transcript of this Wilbon chant on ESPN.com from the 2011 season when Kiffin was at USC. (Based on a Chargers – Bears reference, this is from November 2011.)

RELATED: Lane Kiffin’s Future at Alabama So Bright He Has to Wear Sunglasses
RELATED: Vince Vaughn Bought Lane Kiffin’s Manhattan Beach House for $6.5 Million

You let Lane Kiffin into your football building. Things happen. The Tide have less than 200 yards of total offense in the 4th quarter against Arkansas and are averaging less than two yards/carry. Nick Saban wasn’t impressed.

RELATED: Nick Saban Was NOT Happy About Alabama Muffed Punt Return

Tosh.0 aired a segment on Comedy Central last night where the premise was a fake public access show hosted by Lane and Layla Kiffin. It went just about like the idea would go if the program existed in real life and did not screen callers before they got on the air — a mixed bag of SEC fans, USC supporters, and general haters — and one suspects the entire point of this sketch was for Tosh to pretty much run all the insults he’s ever wanted to say to Lane Kiffin.

Related: Bill Simmons, Jalen Rose & Spud Webb Help Tosh.0 Spoof 30 For 30 With Nerf Dunking Documentary
Related: Lane Kiffin Is Not Having a Fun Night Against Arkansas
Related: Michael Wilbon: “I hate the mere mention of Lane Kiffin’s name.”

As documented by Knoxnews.com, this flier compares Tennessee state representative Gloria Johnson (a Democrat) to Alabama coordinator Lane Kiffin, who’s despised in and around Knoxville even more so than everywhere else. The ad, which was paid for by Tennessee Federation for Children PAC, was crafted in unnamed support of Republican Eddie Johnson. If the flyer is to be believed, Gloria Johnson hates homeowners’ rights, leading effectively, and keeping promises and is in favor of higher taxes and more personal vacation time.

Related: Tosh.0 Imagines Vulgar Insults Haters Would Say to Lane Kiffin
Related: Lane Kiffin Is Not Having a Fun Night Against Arkansas
Related: Michael Wilbon: “I hate the mere mention of Lane Kiffin’s name.”

[H/T @DianneG]

Jourdan Dunn, a model … Girl Scouts nearly “cookiejacked” in Maryland … man’s cancer in remission thanks to HIV … “Mother and daughter stabbed in dispute with neighbor over dog excrement” … lengthy read on the N-word, which is used 500,000 times a day on twitter … Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon religion, had up to 40 wives … New Jersey drivers who didn’t stop for Donald Duck in the crosswalk last week were hit with $230 tickets … Bob Dylan once tried to create a TV show … jaguar kills jaguar cub at the Milwaukee Zoo … Army veteran comes back from Afghanistan, gets shot and killed at a party to celebrate his homecoming … Osama bin Laden “died like a pussy” … more than a few people lost in corn maze called 911 … police called to rescue Rottweiler from the roof … “DNA Pinpoints When Humans and Neanderthals Interbred” … Fergie has a new music video where she walks around in a bikini … boycotting the discovery channel because of the snake stunt? … mom’s heart stopped beating for 45 minutes after giving birth, but she survived! …

LeBron with a 32-12-10 blitzkerig against the Pelicans in a win. Kyrie Irving had nine assists and 32 points. [ABJ]

If you went to bed when the Eagles led 31-7 at the half … more of the same in the 2nd half. Eagles 45, Panthers 21. Philadelphia had nine sacks. [Scott Says]

Orlando Thomas, former NFL cornerback, died of ALS at the age of 42. [Star Tribune]

How about that Lane Kiffin call of an overtime pass to an offensive lineman! [AL.com]

Shocked! “While [twitter] provides an interesting look into how communities of interest respond to different circumstances, it does not reliably correlate with the overall reaction of adults nationwide.” [Pew Research]

So, what’s former USC interim coach Ed Orgeron been up to lately? [LA Times]

Would the Jets have been better if Mike Vick had been starting all season? [Newsday]

Dwyane Wade seems happy LeBron is gone because he has the ball in his hands once again. [Miami Herald]

Hey Doug Marrone, how about that 4th down and 1 at your 41-yard line in the 4th quarter? [NYT 4th Down Bot]

Stefon Diggs, the only reason to watch Maryland, likely out for season with lacerated kidney. [Baltimore Sun]

David Robertson says thanks but no thanks to the Yankees’ $15.3 million qualifying offer. [NYDN]

Jourdan Dunn is just looking for interesting conversation.

Emmanuel Mudiay, who sort of reminds me of Russell Westbrook, went for 22-13-11 in a Chinese pro game. First pick in the 2015 draft? [via CBT]

Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving have a cool handshake.

A month old, but cool wedding proposal, dude. [via IJ Review]

A deer went trick-or-treating in Ohio.

It’s Bob Ryan tap dancing while reciting jersey numbers of retired Boston Celtics.

Missouri’s star defensive lineman Shane Ray was ejected from the SEC title game, for targeting on Alabama quarterback Blake Sims. Launched at his head. Led with the helmet. Not a lot to argue on that one.

DeAndrew White scored a touchdown on the play. Lane Kiffin called it ahead of time.

RELATED: Nick Saban Referenced “Cool Hand Luke,” Sent Thousands of Millennials to Google

The 2014 season has ended. A B1G team took home the title, just as everyone predicted. Here is a recap of the season that was, using letters of the alphabet. 

A is for Amateurism… Obviously…

B is for Bielema… Bret Bielema had a renaissance. Well, as much of one as one could have going 2-6 in conference play. The Razorbacks led the nation in moral victories and earned the SEC West’s best bowl win. The offensive line is hefty. The future appears #AllHog

C  is for “Centuries”… May it never be played again.

D is for Dave Brandon… Michigan ditched their embattled athletic director mid-football season. In the interim, the Wolverines hired Jim Harbaugh and have had zero mishandled scandals or lame PR stunts. Also, the Big Ten is relevant again and the national economy improved.

E is for Empty… Miami fans love them some Al Golden. The stadium was empty in 2014, much as it was in 2013 and in 2012. Feel the excitement.

F is for Fat Guys Doing Work… Baylor threw a touchdown pass to a 400-pound backup guard. Michigan State ran a lineman on an end around.

G is for Game Control… The first CFB playoff introduced us to the first CFB playoff committee. The committee had no clear mandate, beyond doing a tortuous amount of busy work. Justifications changed and contradicted each other week to week. Concepts such as “game control” were invented. Ultimately, after months of toil, the committee fell harder for recency bias than the Harris Poll.

H is for Hot Seat… Some, such as Dan Mullen, doused the burner. Others, did not. Charlie Weis went down early. Will Muschamp did not meet expectations to the point Florida paid tens of millions to bring in the guy from Colorado State. Brady Hoke spent the season as dead man walking.

I is for Incarnate Word… The University of the Incarnate Word is real, indeterminately spectacular and scheduled by Baylor for a showdown in 2019.

J is for Jameis Winston… Winston did not win the Heisman. He did not repeat as national champion. Florida State did not find him guilty of sexual misconduct. He did steal crab legs. He did yell “fuck her right in the pussy” in a public place. Public employee Jimbo Fisher did make an ass of himself on his behalf. Winston’s attorney did release the accuser’s name to the FSU masses on Twitter on his behalf. The college football world, gladly, passes this storyline on to the NFL Draft cabal.

K is for Kenny Trill… Kenny Hill’s Heisman campaign was quite the big deal in September. It was a fun few weeks there. Hill was benched, after the Aggies lost 59-0 to Alabama. Hill is now en route to TCU.

L is for Lane Kiffin… Lane Kiffin joined the Crimson Tide as offensive coordinator. Things went quite “Lane Kiffin.” There were headlines, ill-tailored sartorial choices, comedy spoofs and GIF-able sideline moments. The offense posted impressive numbers, ranking 5th in OFEI. It was not reliable when it counted.

M is for Miami Beach Bowl… The first Miami Beach Bowl was a 55-48 overtime thriller, that ended with a donnybrook featuring multiple sucker punches. The encore should be appointment viewing, in theory.

N is for Nachos… Sometimes, you have to put football in perspective and enjoy the finer things in life. Or be sublimely calm about your team’s fortunes.

O is for Ole Miss… Ole Miss beat Bama. GameDay came to the Grove, with Katy Perry. The Rebels cause died in about the most painful way conceivable. But, playing games of national import was a profound step forward.

P is for Pelini… Bo Pelini was fired after his customary nine wins (with sprinkled in defensive embarrassments) and dropped some incendiary bombs on his way out.

Q is for QB3… Cardale Jones started the season as “the kid who sent that tweet.” He ended it, after three starts, as a national champion and possible early round draft pick. Recency bias in the social media era…

R is for Regular Season… The playoff did not ruin it. Incredibly, investing more games with meaning enhanced the spectacle.

S is for S-E-C… The SEC debuted its own network and commanded a disproportional percentage of regular season media coverage on all fronts. Then, the conference dropped the ball in bowl season, with the top five teams in the SEC West dropping bowl games. Gotta win the high-profile games, fellas.

T is for Tim Beckman… Illinois’ head coach made a mad dash to improve his conference record to 4-20 after three years and preserve his job. The future is…taupe.

U is for Urban Meyer… Meyer’s 2013 season ended with sad pizza and a loss to Clemson. His 2014 season began with a starting quarterback injury and a loss to Virginia Tech. His 2014 season closed with every sports columnist arguing he has surpassed Nick Saban.

V is for Vanderbilt… Vanderbilt made what looked like a sensible hire in Derek Mason. Then, the Commodores were stomped 37-7 in their home opener by Temple and never looked forward. Vandy managed one FBS win: 34-31 over UMass.

W is for Washington State… 2014 was not Mike Leach’s year. He fell back to 2-9 vs. FBS, which is Paul Wulff territory. He could not quite upset Oregon. He had his quarterback go down for the season. Nothing irritates quite like having to fire your special teams coach for a unit that ranked 127th in FBS and directly cost the Cougars games.

X is for Xzavier Dickson… The Alabama linebacker had nine sacks in 2014, second highest total for an Alabama player during the Saban era. He also has a convenient name for this sorts of exercise.

Y is for This Young Oklahoma Fan… Oklahoma players gave an impromptu concert at a children’s hospital, the least miserable part of the Sooners’ 2014 season.

Z is for Zeke… Ezekiel Elliot ran for 696 yards and eight touchdowns on 76 carries over Ohio State’s final three games. That should earn the right to rock the crop top if he chooses.

[Photos via USAT]

The 2015 College Football season is coming. We surveyed 27 media members to gauge their thoughts about the upcoming season. Those polled included writers, reporters, radio hosts, and TV people. They were national, local and regional figures. Not scientific, but good enough for our purposes. Responses were anonymous. Here is a breakdown of the results.

Predictions For 2015

THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF

Respondents predicted their four college football playoff teams. The results are above. Every single media member picked the Buckeyes to reach the top four. Auburn was the second favorite, picked by 18 of the 27 voters. That was three times as many votes as Alabama (6 votes) received. Vegas favors the Tide right now. So did the Coaches. Boredom? Groupthink? Faith in Will Muschamp?

Nearly every respondent believed the TCU/Baylor winner would be there. They differed 16/10 on which team that would be. Outside the top four is a muddle. The most common choices were Notre Dame or USC/Oregon/UCLA surviving the Pac 12 in playoff shape.

Only one media member chose Florida State to return. Others receiving one vote were Arizona, Boise State, Louisville and Michigan State.

THE HEISMAN TROPHY

Media members came up with a consensus top five. TCU QB Trevone Boykin led with 8 votes. The Ohio State vote was split. J.T. Barrett was second with five. Buckeye RB Ezekiel Elliott, Clemson QB DeShaun Watson and Georgia RB Nick Chubb. Cardale Jones, Leonard Fournette and Jeremy Johnson received votes.

BREAKOUT PLAYERS

There were many suggestions. Baylor’s junior QB Seth Russell led the way with four votes. You can still get him at 33/1 to win the Heisman. Just saying. Others receiving multiple votes were two Auburn players, the aforementioned QB Jeremy Johnson and RB Jovon Robinson, and Arizona QB Anu Solomon.

UNDERRATED AND OVERRATED

There was no consensus on underrated teams. If there was one, said team wouldn’t be underrated. Virginia Tech (3 votes) received the most. Others with multiple votes included Arkansas, UCLA, Arizona, Michigan State, Oklahoma State and Texas A&M.

Respondents were clearer about who they felt was overrated. Alabama (8 votes) and USC (7 votes) were the top choices. LSU (3 votes) came in third. Michigan State and Ole Miss also received multiple votes.

Equal numbers believing Michigan State was overrated and underrated indicates they were accurately rated.

BIGGEST UPSETS

A number of media members saw Alabama going down. Five had them losing to Tennessee (2), Texas A&M (2) and Wisconsin. A sixth just asserted Alabama would lose three games. Four surveyed thought Notre Dame would drop the ball, against either Pitt, BC, Virginia or Navy. Two people had Ohio State falling, to MSU or Va. Tech, but not missing the playoff.

Boston College was a popular spoiler pick. Two respondents had the Eagles offing Florida State. Others picked them to beat Notre Dame and Clemson. Cal was another team to watch. Two voters had the Bears beating Oregon. Another had them upsetting USC. Viva la Bear Raid.

GAMES MOST LOOKED FORWARD TO

There were two clear anticipated games. TCU vs. Baylor (7 votes) slightly edged Michigan vs. Ohio State (6 votes) for the most. The former may be a playoff elimination game. The latter brings all the narrative. Others receiving multiple votes were the Iron Bowl, Alabama vs. Georgia, Michigan State vs. Ohio State and Michigan State vs. Oregon.

The 2015 Hot Seat

YOU’RE FIRED

Media members were asked who would be the first Power 5 coach fired. Illinois’ dead man walking Tim Beckman led with 9 votes. Virginia’s Mike London was close behind with 6 votes. Miami’s Al Golden (4 votes) came in third. Kevin Wilson (2 votes) at Indiana was the only other to receive multiple votes.

BEST JOB AVAILABLE FOR 2016

Voters had a clear choice for the best job available after 2015: Miami. Eleven voters believe Al Golden will be fired and another coach could do more with the raw material. Three voters went with UCLA, on the presumption that Jim Mora returns to the NFL. Another three had Frank Beamer stepping down to open up the Virginia Tech job. Two selected Notre Dame, presuming Brian Kelly leaves for the NFL. Two picked LSU. Could it be the end of a run for Les Miles? Two thought the best job open would be South Carolina.

HOTTEST HEAD COACHING CANDIDATES

There were a number of names mentioned for hottest head coaching candidate and little consensus. Three coaches received multiple votes: Memphis head coach Justin Fuente, Utah State head coach Matt Wells and Arizona State offensive coordinator Mike Norvell. No one received more than two votes.

LAST SEASON’S BIG HIRES

We asked respondents to provide a number of regular season wins in the first season for Jim Harbaugh at Michigan and Jim McElwain at Florida. Respondents had a clear range. For Michigan…nine had the Wolverines finishing 7-5, eight had them finishing 8-4 and seven had them finishing 6-6. Three had them winning five games and missing the postseason.

For Florida… 12 of the 27 respondents had the Gators going 6-6, seven had them finishing 7-5, three had them going 8-4 and one bold outlier foresaw 9-3. Four had the Gators missing a bowl game.

BEST COACH TO WORK WITH

Media members were divided on who the best coach to work with was. New Nebraska head coach Mike Riley led the way with five votes. Jerry Kill, Pat Fitzgerald, Dabo Swinney, Rich Rodriguez and James Franklin each received two votes.

WORST COACH TO WORK WITH

Respondents were clearer on the least pleasant coaches to work with. Louisville’s Bobby Petrino led the way with six votes from 25 responses. Nick Saban finished second with four votes. Bob Stoops was the other to receive multiple votes.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL COACH ROYAL RUMBLE

We also asked which college football coach would win a Royal Rumble. Bret Bielema (5 votes) tied with Charlie Strong (5 votes). Bench-pressing Mark Hudspeth, Steve Addazio and six-packed Larry Fedora each received multiple votes as well. We’re shocked Bill Snyder didn’t get more consideration.

LANE KIFFIN IN 2016?

Lane Kiffin has had an interesting career path, a veteran of three major head coaching jobs. Just turning 40 and coming off a successful season as Alabama’s offensive coordinator, he has an interesting future. Media members weren’t sure where he ends up in 2016. Ten saw him landing a Power 5 head coaching job. Ten saw him staying on at Alabama. Three saw him accepting a head coaching job outside the Power 5. Four saw him ending up in the NFL as an assistant.

STEVE SPURRIER IN 2016?

Steve Spurrier turned 70. While he keeps fit, age will be a narrative from now until he retires. Most media members believed he would last two (8 votes) or three (10 votes) more years. Six saw him retiring after this season. Four saw him lasting either four or five more years. No one saw him coaching longer than five.

College Football Media Stuff

BEST COLLEGE FOOTBALL WRITER

Media members were asked who the best college football writers were, with two caveats. They could not pick themselves or someone from their own outlet. Fox Sports’ Bruce Feldman led the way with six votes. Sports Illustrated’s Andy Staples (5 votes) and Fox Sports’ Stewart Mandel (4 votes) trailed just behind. Pete Thamel (SI), Ivan Maisel (ESPN), and Dan Wetzel (Yahoo) each received two votes.

BEST COLLEGE FOOTBALL TV PERSONALITY

As for college football TV personalties, ESPN’s Kirk herbstreit was the runaway winner. Fifteen of the 27 respondents selected him as their favorite. Fox Sports’ Joel Klatt and ESPN’s Rece Davis came in second with three votes. ESPN’s Brent Musburger and CBS Sports’ Rick Neuheisel received two votes.

BEST PLACE TO COVER A GAME

Respondents chose LSU’s Tiger Stadium (7 votes) as the best place to cover a game. The Rose Bowl (5 votes) came in second place. Media members love them some opportune lighting. Georgia, Notre Dame and West Point received multiple votes as well.

WORST PLACE TO COVER A GAME

Penn State (6 votes) was the clear least favorite place to cover a game. Florida State (3 votes) and Vanderbilt (3 votes) were tied for second. Michigan State (2 votes) was the only other venue to get multiple selections.

Penn State and Florida State are due to travel difficulty. Both are hikes. Both have a shortage of hotel rooms. Paraphrasing one media member, the choice is to stay two hours away or sleep in your car. Michigan State, we suspect, was due to the media amenities. Media are provided with a hot dog and drink coupon for sustenance. Before the new media center was built, interviews were conducted out of trailers.

Vanderbilt is more of a mystery. We suspect it’s some combination of small interview rooms and it being the worst place to visit for SEC-centric media members.

COMPLAINTS

We offered media members an open forum to share their biggest gripes about college football coverage. They are summarized below, in order of frequency.

Groupthink: Some variation of this was the most common complaint. Whether it’s cliques, twitter mobs or another factor, media members find the overwhelming consensus censorious and oppressive. They don’t like people being named, shamed and ostracized for unorthodox Top 25 voting.

Knee-Jerk Reactions: Media members don’t like the short-sightedness and sweeping, knee-jerk reactions week to week. In particular, respondents felt the playoff created a lot of this. They felt eliminating teams after Week 1 is silly. So are “Who’s in” projections in Week 2.

Access: Media members complained about the lack of access to coaches and players. Programs are paranoid. Coaches erect walls with coach speak. Players not being available after games makes it hard to provide context. One respondent said access made the NFL a much better sport to cover.

Anti-NCAA Rhetoric: Most media members think reform is necessary. Multiple respondents feel the virulent anti-NCAA commentary is annoying and over-the-top.

Trolling: A few respondents felt there was too much trolling and not enough coverage of actual football. Yes, Clay Travis was mentioned by name.

Biased Recruiting Coverage: Multiple respondents thought local “reporters” were adding not so “objective” coverage of recruiting.

Issues of Import

NEW YEAR’S EVE PLAYOFF GAMES

The College Football playoff is insisting on holding playoff games New Year’s Eve. We’ve written this was a terrible idea. A strong majority of media members agreed. 20 media members disliked the games being held on New Year’s Eve. 13 of them disliked it “strongly.” Five had neutral feelings. Just two of 27 respondents were in favor of the games being held that date. Of course, the reactions of those most affected by the switch will be more extreme than the general public.

NUMBER OF PLAYOFF GAMES

The College Football Playoff debuted with four teams. Many have anticipated (or wished) the playoff would move to six or to eight teams. Media members were asked for their preference. They were split. A slight plurality (11 votes) want to stay at four games. A majority want some form of expansion. Ten want to expand the playoff to eight teams. Four want a six-team plan. Two want to expand it to 16. Notably, no one wanted to return to the BCS after the playoff’s first season.

AMATEURISM

College athletics is a multi-billion-dollar entertainment industry. Its future as an “amateur” sport remains in legal flux. 24 media members responded with their thoughts on the matter. 22 (91.7 percent) support the current plans to add a cost of attendance stipend. 18 (75 percent) support players being able to receive endorsement income. 16 (66.7 percent) believe players should receive a share of school’s licensing income. However, for those hoping to see the system torn down, media members aren’t with you. Just three (12.5 percent) support players receiving direct payment.

[Photos via The Big Lead, USAT]